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SIX TRUE THINGS ABOUT DINNER WITH OBAMA

Bun Cha is a typical Hanoi dish, decidedly everyday, and much loved by locals . To the consternation, no doubt, of the Secret Service (who were very cool about it) I was recently joined for dinner by the leader of the free world in a working class joint near the old quarter of town for an upcoming episode of Parts Unknown .
  1. The President is very comfortable with chopsticks. He handled the sticky, hard to separate noodles that accompany the pork and the broth components of Bun Cha skillfully. He even went in for seconds.
  2. The President is an Asiaphile. He spoke wistfully of his time in Indonesia and his memories of the smells and flavors of street food there.
  3. He clearly enjoyed sitting on a low plastic stool eating bun Cha . It felt to me like his night off. Even with Secret Service lurking nearby .
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OPI NAIL POLISH- THE ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT COLLECTION

A fictional collection that I would 100% buy
  1. Blushing Bluth
  2. Never Nude
  3. I just "blue" myself
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OBITUARIES FOR TEENAGE GIRLS IF THEY ACTUALLY DIED WHEN THEY SAY THEY’RE DYING

  1. HUANG, JAMIE, age 14, died suddenly upon seeing a tiny labrador puppy walk successfully through a set of revolving doors.
  2. PHILLIPS, EMA ARLENE, age 15, passed away when she saw Taylor Swift exiting the neighborhood gym. She died three times before realizing that the woman was not in fact Taylor Swift, whereupon she died once more.
  3. THOMAS, MORGAN, age 15, tasted the perfect mango mousse cake just before succumbing to death. During her life, she was a “mousse lover.” She loved mousse. She was tragically killed by the perfect mousse.
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Traditional Chex Mix, Ranked

  1. 8.
    Bread stick
    Gtfo
  2. 7.
    Square pretzel
    Gtfo
  3. 6.
    Round pretzel
    Gtfo
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"But All Asian Stereotypes Are Good So Why-"

Lemme stop you right there, my dear friend. Asian stereotypes like most stereotypes are harmful, I shall explain...
  1. Here are some of the things people say to me:
  2. "Oh, you got an A on that! But like of course you did! You're Asian."
  3. "I'm not surprised you're good at tennis, you're Asian!"
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OBJECTS THAT ARE OKAY TO COMPARE WOMEN TO

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WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A FEMALE SOLDIER

I should caveat this by stating that I work in a more balanced setting (hospital) than most military units (predominantly male) and that this is not to be constituted as a representation of what the Army is like as a whole or in other areas since I can't speak for those. Thanks @erikaaa for this list request.
  1. It's awesome!
  2. In my unit, I am treated like an equal member of the team.
  3. I get paid the same as my male counterparts for the same job.
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My Favourite Photo Ever Taken of Me

  1. I was 16 and playing Sally Bowles in Cabaret.
  2. I poured my heart and body and soul into this character.
  3. I kept my nails painted green, as Sally says she does, for the entirety of the rehearsal process.
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Items I Stumped 7th Grade Art Students with During Pictionary

Today I got to be a real life super-villain when I subbed for seventh grade art. The teacher said not to give them any easy ones. 😈
  1. Typewriter
    The kid drew something that vaguely resembled a keyboard on top of a mousepad. Top guesses were: "a calendar", "a vintage laptop"
  2. Phone cord
    He drew a bunch of squiggly lines connecting to an iPhone. Top guess "a phone charger", "that new case we talked about in English"
  3. Phone booth
    She drew a British phone booth and someone guessed 'One Direction'
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ALL THE UGLY LOOKING PLATES & BOWLS I MADE IN MY CERAMICS CLASS

As I creep ever so closer to becoming a lesbian (Herbal tea! Flannel shirts! Ani diFranco! Comfortable shoes! Designer power lesbian glasses!) I found myself taking a 6-week ceramics class. The idea was I would make my own plates and bowls as props for my food photography. The reality was pieces that look like rejects from a Farmer's Market....
  1. Brown Bowl
    This bowl looks better in the photo than it actually is. It has a weird crack at the bottom of the bowl that you can't really see and it also weighs WAY more than it should be cause I didn't have time to trim the bottom of it.
  2. Brown and Red Bowl
    Slightly more interesting because of the unexpected brown glaze drop that mingled with the red. But it suffers from the same issue as the brown bowl. Way too heavy for its size because I didn't trim the bottom.
  3. Shallow white bowl with blue green swipe
    Not bad. Not great. It's heavy as all hell. And also it's a weird size which makes it pretty unusable in practical terms. But otherwise I'm not disappointed with it. Didn't trim the bottom either but the foot is smaller so doesn't weigh as much.
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