I've been a Dad for 20 months now and anyone that knows me knows poo and fart jokes are the nucleus of my family. Kinda fitting it's my first list.
  1. The First Poo! I was warned about the baby's black, motor oil like, first shit and as the Dad it was my responsibility to change the first nappy! I was kinda nervous about this but strangely excited. Unfortunately I didn't get the chance because my darling daughter took her first shit inside her mother!
  2. The Cot Poo! The thing about baby's is as they get older they start to learn things. This is awesome fun usually, but when they learn to take off their nappy during an afternoon nap and cover their cot and teddy with shit it's a nightmare.
  3. Poo Eating! This one isn't as bad as it sounds. When my daughter first started to walk we took her for a stroll around the lake. Typically distracted by everything we'd be walking a few steps in front of her & stop as she caught up. We turned around to wait for her and she was sitting on the ground eating kangaroo shit like it was fresh sultanas!
  4. Remember the only good part in Dumber and Dumberer when Bob Saget said "There's shit everywhere!!" That's what happened. We made the dire mistake of letting the kid run around nude after a bath for 5 mins. She dropped a massive nugget in her room then covered herself, the walls, some books, her toys and poor teddy in shit. We nearly sold the house.
  5. The Bath Poo! I was looking forward to this the most! We don't have an actual bath so we bath her in a plastic one in the shower. After a stream of hilarious farts 2 decent cables of shit bobbed from under her. We got her out of the bath, turned it over to empty the water and then, as it's known, waffle stomped those turds down the drain! Gross!