Experiences in Paris ranked by how uncomfortable they make you
- •Boat rides on the SeineAbsolutely pure and perfect. Best in late evening. A tour guide will shout locations in three languages interrupting your romance.
- •Getting crêpes in an alley shopPretty great, the more out of the way the better. Makes you realise crêpes are not that great.
- •Walking in Versailles' gardensIt's hard to enjoy roses when a bus full of Japanese tourists form a line waiting to smell the roses too.
- •Looking at the Mona LisaIt is too small, there are too many people and it's really not that great. Victory of Samothrace is way better.
- •Climbing the Eiffel towerYou think it's a great idea, but forget it's 669 metal steps up. Take the elevator you idiot.
- •Getting robbed by gypsies after coming down the Eiffel towerThey don't really need you to sign the petition, you idiot.