1. My lymph nodes are swollen.
  2. So swollen I can't talk, so naturally I assume I'm going to die.
  3. I go to the doctor. Turns out I'm not dying.
  4. I don't even have something treatable with drugs.
  5. It's a viral infection. (The audience moans empatheticaly)
  6. I'm told to rest and drink fluids like an animal.
  7. But she prescribes me suckers.
  8. Giphy downsized medium
  9. Seriously. Numbing suckers, but suckers nonetheless.
  10. I leave and buy gelato, my own drug. It works wonders.
  11. Giphy