50 NEW WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER

  1. 1.
    Change all the locks, Brock
  2. 2.
    Fake your own death, Seth
  3. 3.
    Cut the brakes on his car, Char
  4. 4.
    Get thrown in jail, Dale
  5. 5.
    Have sex with her mom, Tom
  6. 6.
    Get tribal tattoos, Cruz
  7. 7.
    Get help from the mob, Rob
  8. 8.
    Join a cartel, Mel
  9. 9.
    Say you found God, Maude
  10. 10.
    Always mansplain, Dane
  11. 11.
    Ditch him on a hike, Mike
  12. 12.
    Poison his food, Jude
  13. 13.
    Throw his stuff on the lawn, Dawn
  14. 14.
    Steal his identity, Lee
  15. 15.
    Make out with his friends, Jen
  16. 16.
    Give head to his boss, Ross
  17. 17.
    Get fat, Pat
  18. 18.
    Make a voodoo doll, Paul
  19. 19.
    Build a time machine, Gene
  20. 20.
    Tunnel through the floor, Lenore
  21. 21.
    Get eaten by a bear, Claire
  22. 22.
    Start doing porn, Lorne
  23. 23.
    Feed her soul to Cthulhu, Lou
  24. 24.
    Join Scientology, Dee
  25. 25.
    Dump him by text, Lex
  26. 26.
    Become a nun, Sun
  27. 27.
    Pretend to be gay, Jay
  28. 28.
    Cum in her eye, Guy
  29. 29.
    O.D. on drugs, Doug
  30. 30.
    Move off the grid, Sid
  31. 31.
    Start collecting dolls, Moll
  32. 32.
    Refuse to take a shower, Bauer
  33. 33.
    Sell your soul to the devil, Neville
  34. 34.
    Gamble all your money away, Ray
  35. 35.
    Get your breast-size reduced, Luce
  36. 36.
    Drown him in the sea, Lee
  37. 37.
    Torch all of her clothes, Rose
  38. 38.
    Fake amnesia, Leeza
  39. 39.
    Jump off a bridge, Midge
  40. 40.
    Start wearing a Fedora, Nora
  41. 41.
    Take all his money, Sunny
  42. 42.
    Become a cult leader, Reider
  43. 43.
    Get caught on Ashley Madison, Addison
  44. 44.
    Stop shaving your vagina, Dyna
  45. 45.
    Overuse the word "like," Mike
  46. 46.
    Take your hands off the wheel, Neil
  47. 47.
    Act like a bro, Joe
  48. 48.
    Go swimming with sharks, Mark
  49. 49.
    Slip into a coma, Roma
  50. 50.
    Join the Islamic State, Nate