BEST THINGS YOUR PARENTS EVER SAID

  1. The first time my dad bought me condoms, he dropped them on the bed, said "use these," and ran out of the room.
  2. When my mom called the pet store and excitedly asked "do you have any hamster balls?!"
  3. My mother, frustrated by her lack of understanding of the modern vernacular: "Girls, if you don't tell me what tea-bagging is, I won't take you shopping tomorrow."
    We didn't tell her.
    Suggested by   @katya
  4. My father found a Mikes Hard Lemonade cap in the house after they'd been out of town. Came into my room, set it down and said "you have terrible taste."
    Suggested by   @sam
  5. A couple months ago my mom was helping me put together my bed and I was being lazy about everything fitting perfectly and she goes "do you want this bed to fall apart when you're having sex? No? Okay then."
    Suggested by   @ErinFlaherty
  6. When my dad asked me if I was at their wedding.
    Suggested by   @tothemaxxx
  7. I was visiting my parents a few years ago and noticed three mismatched socks resting on a strip of tinfoil on the kitchen counter. When asked about it, my mom replied, "I'm trying to clone them."
    Suggested by   @ashsevans
  8. When I got in the car and my mom greeted me by saying "my new favorite insult is douche bag but I keep forgetting to use it."
    Suggested by   @aniko