FUTURE DEBATE QUESTIONS FOR THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES

  1. Ben Carson; are you awake?
  2. Ted Cruz; is your chin trying to eat the rest of your head?
  3. Carly Fiorina; are you the shittiest robot?
  4. Jeb Bush; would you like some play-doh?
  5. John Kasich; You don't seem like a totally awful person, how'd you end up a republican?
  6. Marco Rubio; When you remove your skin, and people see your true reptilian form, are they scared?
  7. Donald Trump; if you win the presidency, how gold will you paint the White House?
  8. Ted Cruz; you're Gollum, aren't you?