1. Remember when Ted Cruz attempted to make braided suspenders a thing?
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  2. Remember when Ted Cruz tried to make friends with a tree, but even the tree told him to get lost?
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  3. Remember when Ted Cruz said he kissed a girl, but she went to a different school...in Canada...you wouldn't know her!
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  4. Remember when Ted Cruz started to make a list of all the people who hated him, but eventually ran out of space?
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  5. Remember when the universe had the right idea?
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