THE CORRECT TIMES TO SEND A "THANK YOU" CARD

  1. When somebody gives you a gift
  2. When a friend does you a favor
  3. After a very good sex
  4. When a bartender cards you even though you're obviously in your 30s
  5. When your downstairs neighbor finds your house keys in your parking spot, and decides to return them to you instead of breaking into your apartment, and stealing your computer and/or musical instruments