Careers I'd Invent & Pursue If Money Wasn't An Option

I'm kinda a kid at heart so a lot of these are going to seem very dumb
  1. Watching documentaries on Netflix
    I just really like documentaries but they're so long that I have difficulty finding time to get to them all
  2. Making the music playlists for public places
    seriously idk who the fuck they hire or what guidelines they're given but I want to rip my hair out after hearing the same songs playing in elevators, retail stores, grocery stores, casinos, etc...
  3. petting every dog I see
    or holding back from petting cop dogs and dogs with vests marking them as helping dogs that aren't to be touched, seriously you bring a dog in public and I'm gonna act like a child regardless of whether is wearing a fancy vest wtf
  4. Yelling at people from my car while driving
    Idk when everybody forgot how to drive or decided we were gonna turn roads into real life Mario kart but one more other fucker cuts me off, blatantly runs a stop sign and almost t-bones me, or doesn't use their blinker and I'm gonna intentionally rear end them. Additionally I don't have a working horn so I use my middle finger a LOT
  5. Leaving asshole notes on people's parked vehicles
    this one kinda goes off the last one but I cannot tell you how angry it makes me when a prime parking spot is ruined by someone who decided to park over the line by 3 inches which had now resulted in me parking in africa and walking the 4 blocks to the store, you fucking suck and I hate you
  6. Give life advice that I don't follow
    I'm weirdly good at talking people through difficult situations and helping them find solutions to their problems but my life is a complete shit show
  7. Creating drinking games
    I'm really bad at remembering the rules or finding the necessary materials for drinking games when I'm already drunk which usually just results in inventing my own
  8. Taste testing new girl scout cookies
    I just really like girl scout cookies and can't say no to a group of 7 year olds in sashes offering them for the low price of $4 a box