So many random situations that never cease to amaze (generally with regards to the nature of their stupidity).
  1. "The Talent needs ten large buckets of Church's Chicken, a large garbage bag of weed, three TV's with three Xbox consoles and as many video games as a thousand bucks will buy — stat".
  2. "The Creative Director needs to ship her breast milk back home to New York every two days for her child — can we figure out how to get it across the border / through customs?"
  3. "Can we get the Director's wife to the airport, and then have someone standing by two hours later to pickup his Girlfriend who's coming to town?"
  4. Celebrity Stylist
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  5. "The script is all about cultural diversity, so let's stick to that theme and hire an ethnically diverse crew. If it's not diverse enough, maybe we could hire some extras from various cultural backgrounds to walk around set on shoot days and pose as crew?"
  6. "The client's diamond wedding ring fell off in the car and fell down a vent. We need a mechanic to come to set and dismantle the car immediately in order to find the ring".
    ** The mechanic spent 6 hours dismantling the vehicle and eventually found the prohibitively expensive ring deep in the bowels of the engine.
  7. "The turkey needs to appear hot out of the oven. Let's puncture a few holes into it, stuff it with a bunch of microwaved water doused tampons and watch that bird steam!!!"
    ** This worked like a hot damn — movie magic, people.
  8. Diva Child Actor
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  9. Director Diet Instructions ... aka That Last Sentence, though ...
    "Also, I have some food allergies. Gluten, yes i’m trendy, and Soy. I have a few others that I won't bore you with. I’m in the process of retooling my diet; generally my breakfast looks like dinner to most people. Big picture: lots of different organic veggies, grass fed meat and wild caught seafood, organic fruit. Essentially, it's a fairly Paleo diet with some personal tweaks. I swear i’m not a diva."
  10. "Let's add an animatronic horse mascot head here - it will be an homage to The Godfather" - Director
    Cue internal eye roll.
  11. “I’m trying to figure out what movie this reference photo in my treatment is from.  I don't actually know because some other dude wrote the treatment for me and got me the gig.” - Director
    Director's Treatment - TV commercial shoot
  12. "I NEED A DRY CAP.  THIS IS NOTTT A DRY CAP - IT’S HEAVY - FEEL THIS. ALL MY MOVIE DRIVERS KNOW WHAT A DRY CAPPUCCINO IS... THEY BASICALLY TRAIN THE BARISTAS."
    Director to Production Assistant
  13. "I need frozen peas! Ice packs won't do. Instant ice medi-packs - forget it. Actual ice in a bag... NO! It HAS to be frozen peas in a ziplock bag and I need it now!!!!!
    Executive Producer to PA after spraining ankle on a tech survey.
  14. When you're not so stoked that the creative team is about to show up ... and you accidentally text the Producer conveying such ...
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  15. "The gherkin to pickle ratio is off. More gherkins! Guys - this needs to be perfect.... the client LOVES pickles!!!" - Producer
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