Things I will lie to my future children about.

They say you should never lie to your children but there are some things that you have to say. Here are just a few of the ones I will tell my children.
  1. Santa
    Obviously I will tell my children that Santa is real. I'm not going to have him/her be that kid that tells all the other kids in his class that he's not real.
  2. You don't have to grow up.
    When my child says they don't want to grow up and all that stuff. Sure, I'll tell them they can stay but eventually I'll make them leave.
  3. You can be anything you want when you grow up.
    No they can't! Yeah they can possibly get any occupation but they can't be a firetruck or an apple tree. Technicalities man.
  4. You're adopted
    I'll tell them this just to see their reaction for like a week... Maybe two.
  5. Hugh Jackman is your real father.
    Going off the adoption one.
  6. Hands are called grappling hooks
    I'm going to always refer to hands as grappling hooks in front of them just so they believe they are actually called that.
  7. Mexico isn't real.
    I mean, why not?
  8. Only 817 people in the world
    Instead of telling them about the 7 billion people in the world I will tell them there are 817.
  9. I'm a ghost.
    I died in 1987 and haunt this house. Only those I choose can see me.