MY PROUDEST ACCOMPLISHMENTS
in no particular order... except that I guess I'm most proud of the first one.
- •QUITTING SMOKINGafter 15 years of smoking (12 of which were over a pack a day) — I QUIT! I feel like I should have to uncheck the organ donor box on my ID. my organs won't be of use to anyone, I can promise you that.
- •MY DOGhave you seen my dog? If you have, you know what I mean.
- •THAT TIME AT THE SHOOTING RANGE1 shot.
- •EVERY TIME I PEE IN A CUPI say this maybe once every two years, but I'm quite the accomplished cup pee-er. my mom sent me to rehab when I was 17 for ditching class and smoking blunts, so I had a lot of practice. I nail it every time. perfect amount, no spills, nothing to wipe & total flow control. it's a weird skill but I'm not unhappy about it.
- •THE FACT THAT I CAN STILL 👍🏽considering...
- •I'M NOT DEAD!okay so maybe this isn't an "accomplishment" exactly, but when you've been shot at, almost drowned, had to grow up with a bodyguard because your dad tried to kill you and were assumed to be dead at birth in the first place -- I mean, I must be doing something right. right?