Essays I've Written This Year on Books I've Never Read
As a high school senior and AP Literature student, I have certain obligations that I am required to fulfill. Seeing as I have a severe aversion to anything obligatory, I did not read any of the books I was assigned through the course of the class. This is the information I managed to scrounge up to barely pass.
- •The Poisonwood BibleHere we begin with a familiar tale: the summer reading I did not do, and the essay that entailed at the beginning of the year as proof of my doing so. We were assigned characters to focus on. I got Adah. Something about ants and speaking backwards.
- •The AwakeningI like to think of myself as a feminist. Maybe even a progressive one. I don't know. I'm all for Edna (Was it Edna?) overcoming the struggles of our gender in a time when it wasn't as common by presumably committing suicide in the sea. There was bird that spoke French.
- •FrankensteinI actually got to chapter seven on this one. Some asshole mariner telling a story on a ship. How very original. Was expecting a step-by-step guide on how to make my own Frankenstein. Was sourly disappointed.
- •Wuthering HeightsThe names were the most confusing part of this. My friend told me Heathcliff hung his wife's dog with a wire hanger and I used that as the centerpiece of the essay. I tried to lie about reading it and told my teacher there was a castle in the first chapter. She made sure to correct me real fast.
- •Heart of DarknessI re-watched Breaking Bad when I was supposed to be reading this. I picked up some points from SparkNotes and class discussions. Ended up drawing a lot of parallels between Walter White and Marlow.