My All-time Favorite Bands

What pretentious and self-proclaimed precocious 18 year old doesn't enjoy sharing their refined musical palate? Show me one who doesn't, and I'll give you good money for it. Anyways, here's a list of my top five bands, in descending order, to show you how much better my taste in music is than yours.
  1. 5.
    The Arctic Monkeys
    No, it's not just exclusive to hipsters anymore! The Arctic Monkeys has been the personification of the rock and roll genre reaching its decaying hands out of the grave and pulling itself back into a world desperate for something more than corporate pop. Headed by a 1950's greaser waxing poetic about romance and weaving narratives not often seen in today's lyrical catalogue, the band just barely has what it takes to surpass my sixth favorite: The Jonas Brothers.
  2. 4.
    The Smiths
    This is a great band for releasing your inner anti-social pessimist after getting sick of listening to Alessia Cara's "Here" on repeat. Morrissey's brooding lyrics, often punctuated by his caustic laughter, usually instill within me the feeling that I am despairingly alone in the world, and that someone--a lover, a friend, God, maybe--has wronged me greatly. I love it. I hate it. I hate to love it.
  3. 3.
    Queens of the Stone Age
    Nothing makes me want to scream "FUCK YEAH" more than when I bump tracks by QOTSA so loud that whomever's sitting near me can hear Josh Homme's vocals coming from my earbuds. The biting, devil-may-care music and attitude of this band makes this peaceful soul want to kick someone's face in and watch the blood pool around my Toms shoes.
  4. 2.
    Radiohead
    No matter what, there's a Radiohead song that will suit whatever mood you may be in. From depressing 90's pop, to electronic beats that, when taken out of context, sound like samplings from the Starship Enterprise, Radiohead has experimented with it all, but I think the thing about the band that charms me the most is Thom Yorke's lazy eye. Not everyone with an abnormality like that becomes a great musician, but every great musician has an abnormality.
  5. 1.
    The Beatles
    This is when you find out that the whole list is just a publicity stunt to promote the fact that they're now streaming. I know having them as my #1 fave might be a trite, but their legacy has survived this long for a reason, right? They swooped in just in time to heal America's post-Kennedy wounds, and as the generation that fell in love with them grew up, so too did they. Their 10 year evolution, from A Hard Day's Night to Sgt Pepper to The White Album, is truly a marvel for the ears to behold.