Bad Lakes Ranked

As a helpful companion to @yrfriendrachel's ranking of all the Great Lakes, here is my definitive ranking of the Bad Lakes. Be aware!
  1. 1.
    Girth Lake
    The widest and shallowest of the Bad Lakes, there's is still plenty of shade at the nearby 7/11 and the water is colored adequately. Only sort of a Bad Lake.
  2. 2.
    Dust Lake
    Although the lake has mostly dried up, the empty basin resembles a Martian landmark and you will never drown.
  3. 3.
    Filth Lake
    Within a 10-minute jog of Montana's brightest 7/11, do not wade in this unholy lake-esque bubble.
  4. 4.
    Astro Lake
    An artificially-surfaced lake where all the water is hard beads.
  5. 5.
    Gavin's Revenge
    NOT a lake; just a carnival ride about Dr. Kevorkian's assistant