Bad Ways to Start a Rejection Text

  1. "I know this sucks to hear..."
    What? What sucks to hear? What's coming next?? I'm so ensconced in mystery!
  2. "I did have a lot of fun..."
    Ok, great! That sounds like the ideal outcome of an evening.
  3. "Sorry, just saw this."
    "Just finished a very successful cataract surgery. This text is the first thing I've ever seen! Also, we shouldn't date."
  4. "Ahhhhh"
    "I'm undecided about how to do this, so here's an anguished Frankenstein cry."
  5. (Radio Silence)
    A nightmare wrapped in a daydream