1. Thanks so much for joining us on this blessed day. I, Blake Shelton, am so very happy.
  2. And I, Gwen Stefani, would like to reemphasize my contractual obligation to produce a smile.
  3. We gathered you all here today to say, well...it's true! We've fulfilled the terms of our most recent contract extension with "The Voice" in conceiving a child! And we simply couldn't be more obedient.
  4. We know having a child is difficult. It's hard to nail all the camera angles, the PR push, and to have the child right-side up on the first try! But we're trying our best to learn.
  5. What a blessing this boy or girl will be! We know we could find out the sex of the child beforehand, but like many real couples, we've decided to wait. Until the gigantic chair dramatically spins around and shows us our baby for the first time.
  6. Blake here. I know that I can't wait to strut around with my child down the streets of Nashville, treating him/her to all the benefits of being a country icon.
  7. And I, Gwen, can't wait to strut around with my child down the streets of Nashville with my Country Image Consultant, learning which hats I'm legally allowed to wear.
  8. We've come to terms with producers on 9 months as the gestation period for our child, which our lawyers have insisted is basically the best deal we could hope for.
  9. Much love to our fans in 2016, and we are excited to share more information on our child via autoplay ads on Facebook that you absolutely can't get rid of.
  10. And I'm looking forward to my first time meeting Gwen in person. Cheers!