How to Fix the Home Run Derby
Major League Baseball's Home Run Contest is broken, 100% of people agree. Here is how to change that.
- •Add a dunk contest
- •Bonus points for homers that really make you think
- •An award for "Best Dinger Shout"
- •Two players who are terrible forced to compete
- •Player must retrieve own home run balls, scuffle with fans
- •One umpire given laxativeEditor's Note: not sure why there are umpires? Workshop this one, Adam.
- •Played in Denver on mountain top
- •Pitchers are batters' estranged dads
- •Scorekeeper surprises everyone at end by revealing he forgot to keep scoreEditor's Note: Adam, just because he forgot to keep score doesn't mean we can't watch the tape and determine the score. You didn't think this one through.
- •Scorekeeper destroys all tapes of the event
- •Winner of Derby grabs mic at end and gets to ban soccer in America
- •Replaced with Hot Dog FiestaEditor's Note: 😔