Most Confusing Things About Having a Jewish Father and a Shiksa Mother

I am not Jewish!
  1. I got the Jewish-est name in the book, and yet, I am not considered Jewish. By those who don't understand, I am considered a liar.
  2. I was never Bar Mitzvah'd!
    Which is why I am still an adult-looking baby! I don't know how to close a cereal box.
  3. I celebrated Hanukkah and Christmas!
    As a child, I did all 8 nights and a full Christmas. As I aged, I started shedding nights, and eventually, it became just one candle-lighting and prayer.
  4. We are much closer to my mother's family than my father's!
    So I've lost even more from my faith as I've gotten older!
  5. Also, no parts of my family are heavily religious in any way! The gentile side is more spiritual!
  6. And therefore, I'm a 25-year-old with a Jewish name and almost the minimum amount of connection to that world!
  7. AMA!