Snippets From My Latest iPhone Notes

For some reason I always love reading these from others! Here's my garbage. Think most of these are supposed to function as dialogue? Sharing the nearly incomprehensible ones.
  1. I just want a girl to act natural around me, chug a beer So act like a guy No like I just want her to I dunno scratch her balls
  2. To start ignoring calls from Mercury
  3. The power of faith? Every night at dinner this family leaves an empty seat for Elijah wood
  4. Jack Johnson "I was just a blank with a bad metabolism
  5. Tossing weed into the ocean because I am a friend to mermaids
  6. Look around you and everyone's on a date
  7. I don't go to your job and smack the dicks sporting goods name tag out of your mouth
  8. Kidz 4 Gold