Things I Would Do for a Friend

  1. Tell them to relax and refocus
  2. Parallel park
  3. Tell them their new flavor of ice cream has too many hard cereal chunks in it
  4. Tell them that maybe now wasn't the best time to open a boutique ice cream shop in the west village
  5. Show them charts that prove the profit margins just aren't going to be there in two months
  6. Remind them almost all new restaurants close
  7. Remind them it was a very horrible idea to open up an ice cream place with only one new flavor called "horrible hard cereal chunks"
  8. Lightly counsel them that maybe the store shouldn't have been called "OJ Simpson's Murder-Porium"
  9. Parallel park an ice cream truck