Things Ive Learned About Life in NYC
I'm coming up on my three year anniversary in this crazy place. And even though it tries my patience sometimes, I've learned a lot! Like:
- •Sometimes a fourth-floor walkup really IS five floors.
- •If a tourist stops in the street for too long, you're allowed to take their eyes.
- •Never disrespect the Trash King.
- •If you're running late, don't drag the 6 train above ground by your knuckles!
- •Even the smallest apartment can feel like home if you burn down every other apartment in NYC.
- •The John Legend song "All Of Me" was written about me.
- •If the Trash King asks to see your passport, DON'T tell him you left it in your car; he'll go munch on your car.
- •A 15-minute walk is never just a 15-minute walk; usually, you have to defeat at least three Tortoise Bosses.
- •There are worse ways to spend a Thursday night than watching the Rat Chorus bleat at Lincoln Center.
- •None of the computers at Best Buy can hack military software, except one can.
- •Don't look the Trash King directly in the gills.
- •Your landlord can be gruff, but never forget that he IS Ray Liotta.
- •And most importantly, take the time to occasionally just sit back and breathe in the beauty this city has to offer while dangling from a thin cord at the top of the a Williamsburg Bridge, the Trash King's minions giggling at the nape of your neck, their hot breath stinging.
- •Cheers to three more beautiful years!