Thoughts After Driving From Cleveland to New York Just Now

  1. I think I woke up with pretty severe dehydration
  2. No I didn't I drank a lot of Bud Light yesterday
  3. Oh no I definitely am not well
  4. Vomiting made me feel great and ready to drink water
  5. I'm bummed I didn't get to try any gourmet restaurants yesterday and only got to eat at a bar called the Winking Lizard
  6. Is that the most pretentious thought I've had in my young history? Yes
  7. Wow getting over heat stroke is way better than having it
  8. So glad I got healthy just in time to enjoy 6 hours of Pennsylvania
  9. I will never create anything funnier than the man last night who waited for a street performer to finish his song about how "there's always next year" before saying under his breath, "another year of this shit?"
  10. After the game last night a man slapped me five and looked me in the eye and said "don't be sad" and then I got very very sad
  11. Oh cool Pennsylvania actually just started
  12. I shouldn't buy a Tasty Kake Cookie Bar
  13. Wow this iced coffee from Cleveland is still kicking it in the front seat hours later, nice
  14. We better get off this Jersey highway before this motorcycle rally starts
  15. Oh god people are lined up on the side of the road for the motorcycle rally
  16. Please don't let me die by motorcycle rally
  17. I hope this sad Bison will be ok soon