1. Virtual noogies
  2. Man told me every day for a year that my computer was fat
  3. Facebook account called PubertyFriend messaged me every day "Not yet!"
  4. Website mailed me a knife
  5. 10 people on Twitter S'd their D H at me
  6. FB kept changing my prof pic to cartoon of Ash Ketchum vomiting on my name
  7. Online job application never responded to
  8. City of Denver banned me from official website for commenting "Looks nice!" on every picture of flowers
  9. Seamless changed my home address to "Hell"
  10. Stocks I bought went down
  11. DMV emailed me to say I was approved for "Being Hit By A Car License"?
  12. Google made doodle 6 pictures of my penis