1. Made complete list of all 800 bones
  2. Gigantic shorts
  3. Told school administration word "gym" was slang for flirting and got gym teacher fired
  4. Removed loose pasta from shower
  5. Gave 8-part lecture series on why it's fine to have a micropenis
  6. Was really good at dodgeball actually
  7. OK playlist
  8. Dad was teacher in other city and that made administration think I came from family of intellectuals
  9. Built gym with bare hands
  10. Informed everyone fluorescent lights might not be best idea
  11. Medical exemption (three hernias in calendar year)