As of 12:46 pm on Saturday October 17
  1. Opened eyes, grabbed phone
  2. Made long journey (four steps) to bathroom
  3. Returned to bed
  4. Snuggle with Instagram
  5. Think about going to the dry cleaners
  6. Think about going to the pharmacy
  7. Cuddle with Facebook
  8. Traverse apartment to kitchen, get Greek yogurt and spoon
  9. Return to bed with these items
  10. Text friend about vague plans
  11. Consider vague plans. Eat yogurt
  12. Pillow talk with Twitter
  13. Return to kitchen to throw out yogurt container and wash spoon
  14. Return to bed
  15. Ponder showering
  16. Ponder human existence
  17. Time to check Instagram again