Bad Dates '06-'13
- •We meet at a coffee shop. He tells me he just completed his resume. I say cool. He asks if I want to see it. Sure, okay.... He goes to his car to get it! "They say stick to one page, but I say if you've got enough for two, go for it!"
- •Same date. "You're a comedy writer? Tell me a joke." "You're a writer? I'm a writer too. I write raps. Want to hear one?" He raps about his high school science teacher.
- •We meet at Lou, a wine bar and restaurant now closed. He corrects the waitress's pronunciation of "et cetera." He is French Canadian and talks a lot about how America is terrible.
- •He never shows up. Never texts to explain why. Mostly annoyed because it was a pajama day, and I changed into regular clothes to meet him.
- •He reveals he's a Republican and then says, "It's okay. I've dated lots of liberal artist girls."
- •We see a movie and we laugh at the exact opposite moments. Not a good sign especially since he once told me, "Texting with you is like texting with Mel Brooks!" I feel like he googled some kind of Mad Libs of what to say to a female comedy writer.
- •He makes us late and I end up getting a parking ticket. He kisses me and I say, "Worth it." I'm lying. I'm 24 and it seems like a cool thing to say. Totally not worth the ticket.