The Mass Effects of Lemonade as Seen Across the Us 🍋🍋🍋
Last night Beyoncé changed us. There's no going back now!
- •Kya, TX, tells Bo, the older man at work who routinely makes jokes about leaving his wife for Kya, that she's reporting him to HR. She already spoke to his wife. In fact, she and Kya are now going on one of those "20 Day Silent Walk Through Water" Retreats. There were 1,473 to choose from, but this one has a bonus 21st day! More silent walking!
- •Chloe, KY, forms an all-girl punk band and plays at the school talent show WITHOUT a signed permission slip from the Arts & Drama Director.
- •Leshawna, NY, tells the nice guy she's been seeing for a month that she didn't find his joke funny. It was offensive and lame. Leshawna actually found the joke SHE made ABOUT his lame joke to be very funny. Leshawna finally "gets" that "loud" woman at work.
- •Kathy, MA, goes to buy a used car and doesn't bring her uncle with her to negotiate the price.
- •Chloe P., CA, gets braids and impetuously buys a horse. The next day she rides on horseback down the street. She refuses to speak a word of explanation, but believes the visual alone is enough to get her point across. Isn't it obvious? She thought the ending of The Gift was misogynist.
- •Amy and Jenny, sisters in UT, accidentally hit each other with swinging light bulbs. The EMT who takes them to the hospital claims he hears them muttering, "I ain't sorry."
- •Shay, MN, gets even MORE amped for this Harriet Tubman bill. But at the same time, is like, "Why did this take so long?" Shay realizes she's going to be more upset about a lot of things now and nervously googles this "wage gap" she's been hearing about.
- •Becky, location unknown, is like, "Well I'm gonna write my own response piece! Tell Becky's story! She is advised against it.
- •Martina, OR, starts her novel.
- •Melissa, AZ, gets in bed at night and doesn't replay the day's mistakes in her head, but instead replays Lemonade in her head. She feels great the next morning!!
- •Angela, ME, searches in vain for Black female friends. Begins to question her life choices. Is forced to admit this isn't about her. Gets woke.
- •Patricia, FL, never smiles again and feels happier than she ever has in her life.