IN A PERFECT WORLD
- •Karaoke bars would have all the Weird Al versions of songs.
- •Firefly/Freaks and Geeks/[insert beloved but tragically discontinued show] wouldn't have been cancelled.
- •Potential internet suitors would be vetted by our closest friends before meeting.
- •A Taco Bell would appear like a shining beacon of hope any time you're out and get hangry.
- •All our lists would trend. At least for 15 min.
- •On a random day each year, we'd wake up transmogrified into our spirit animals to experience life in their shoes. Or hooves. Or paws.
- •We'd all be at a place in our lives where we could guiltlessly adopt one million corgi puppies.
- •Alarm clocks would brew coffee. And pancakes.