IN A PERFECT WORLD

  1. Karaoke bars would have all the Weird Al versions of songs.
  2. Firefly/Freaks and Geeks/[insert beloved but tragically discontinued show] wouldn't have been cancelled.
  3. Potential internet suitors would be vetted by our closest friends before meeting.
  4. A Taco Bell would appear like a shining beacon of hope any time you're out and get hangry.
  5. All our lists would trend. At least for 15 min.
  6. On a random day each year, we'd wake up transmogrified into our spirit animals to experience life in their shoes. Or hooves. Or paws.
  7. We'd all be at a place in our lives where we could guiltlessly adopt one million corgi puppies.
  8. Alarm clocks would brew coffee. And pancakes.