KINDS OF BASS PLAYERS

  1. Stoic Head Nodders
    Probably the most prevalent. Usually in band of four or more, standing slightly behind the rest. Willing to endorse the beat with a tilt, but still playing it cool.
  2. Metal Head Bangers
    Playing might not be super tight, but if you're at a metal show expecting that, you're in the wrong place. Picture hair covering eyes, and probably most of the torso, flying in all directions as the whole body convulses. 9/10 on the enthusiasm meter.
  3. Awkward Eye Contact
    Not even willing to commit to a head nod, they post up in the back of the stage and somehow make unnerving eye contact with everyone in the audience.
  4. Pop Punk
    Epitomized by Mark Hoppus. 8/10 for enthusiasm. Lots of jumping around. Bass is hung so low it seems like it shouldn't be physically possible to play it.
  5. Upright
    Special shout out to jazz bassists who twirl their basses during rests.
  6. Sheepish but Extremely Talented
    Lack of enthusiasm is excused by insane abilities. Usually hang out in back with head down and bass hung up near shoulders.
  7. Paul McCartney