5 THINGS I DO IN EMMA'S APARTMENT WHEN SHE AND LILY AREN'T HOME.

2 truths and 3 lies.
  1. Shave my legs.
    Should start with the obvious.
  2. Leave traces of maple syrup in select corners of the living room.
    Don't act like I'm the only one who does this.
  3. Switch her toothbrush with Lily's
    For a lil giggle.
  4. Practice Scientology
    She gets uncomfortable when I do this around her.
  5. Rub Vaseline all over my body, squirm around on the floor and connect with my inner slug.
    A classic.