TOP 5 REASONS I SHOULDN'T GET OUT OF BED

(Aside from 'because I live in Australia, and everyone knows Australia doesn't count')
  1. 1.
    It's October
    Essentially, (due to global warming) there has been really weird weather patterns in Melbourne, which has caused it to be a ridiculously hot day. And since it's only 9am, I feel like I can stretch out my dozing time for another hour until my bed becomes stifling and my beloved sheets become hot and sweaty
  2. 2.
    It's a Thursday (in Australia at least)
    Despite the fact that I'm a full time student I don't actually have University today, and even though I usually go in and enjoy the free burger lunch for Arts students (between 11-1, which usually offers me the opportunity to line up not just once but a SECOND TIME and enjoy a second burger with a completely different filling), I think catching the train in the heat is like shooting myself in the foot (should never be done unless unavoidable...).
  3. 3.
    Stretching
    You know that feeling of utter happiness, when you wake up from a dreamless sleep and stretch long and hard before you decide to get out of bed and resign yourself to your boring life? I'm talking about the full-body, arms-above-the-head, fisted hands, legs straight, pointed toes STRETCH that wakes up all those muscles which have been useless for the last 8-9 hours. I haven't stretched that kind of stretch yet, so I clearly can't get out of bed until its completion...
  4. 4.
    Dozing
    Those moments of half-sleep, when you're not completely asleep but not completely awake, and you can justify thinking about your hot, almost-boyfriend, in a dream-like state which lets you control the situation mentally but it still feels like a 'dream'. Lying on my side, foetal position (except I'm stretched out a bit, because my room is starting to heat up from unusual mid-October warmth, refer to Point 1 for details), I'm on the cusp of a second sleep, and it's just too valuable to give up
  5. 5.
    Who do you think I am?
    Finally, as a lazy 20 year old, I have absolutely no pressing responsibilities (I don't count studying, nor does any other self-respecting 20 year old), which means I can AFFORD (but not literally 'Afford' because I'm on minimum wage and have no money) to stay in bed for limitless amounts of time. You can only get away with this at 20, so I'm making the most of this period in my life when laziness and drowsiness overrule all else, and I'm guiltlessly hitting 'Snooze'.