GO RUN

  1. I am having an awful day
  2. Watching my boyfriend suffer, bawling my eyes out, questioning the religion I've known my whole life
    You know, the usual
  3. I had finally calmed myself down, and then my mother started yelling at me
    She was mad at my sister, and when she gets mad at one person, everyone suffers the consequences.
  4. Things were not going well
  5. I got to a point where I literally could not handle myself
  6. I wanted to hit someone, punch a wall, scream until my throat hurt, and sob, all at the same time
  7. My emotional ability to handle things was drained, but my physical body was ready to fight
  8. I didn't know what to do
  9. I know I've heard a lot about running making you feel better
  10. *insert scientific jabber about endorphins and adrenaline here*
  11. So, when I was about to lose it, I decided to run
  12. I ran harder than I thought I could
  13. And when I felt like I was going to cry again, I ran faster
  14. And it didn't make me feel better. It didn't make my brain stop whirring. It didn't make my problems feel smaller.
  15. What it DID do was bring my physical strength down to the level of my emotional strength
    Which, at the moment, was approximately zero
  16. Now that everything is back in equilibrium, I feel like I'm actually capable of handling life again
  17. So,
  18. When you feel like you want to do something irrational, or hurt someone, or hurt yourself,
  19. When you feel emotionally drained but physically restless,
  20. When you feel burning in your throat and that tight ball in your chest,
  21. Even if you hate running,
  22. Go run.