TERRIBLE SENTENCES I'VE SAVED FROM NEAR-DEATH

I'm the editor-in-chief of a team of 15 intern, college-aged writers. This is some of the writing that makes me want to bang my head against the wall.
  1. "This event led to debates throughout Japan and if their should be more discipline."
    There, their, they're. Get it right. Also, what are you even trying to say?
  2. "By changing work ethics and study hobbits..."
    Look! It's the rare study hobbit!
  3. "Due to the lack of knowledge of a company's persuasion, loss of money will most likely occur."
    ???
  4. "Such as the I phone getting rid of the Aux cord..."
    "I phone"? Really?
  5. "It can thus be extrapolated that..."
    I'll take Trying To Sound Smarter Than I Am for 500, Alex
  6. "Having been following up with tech conventions Samsung has teased consumers at a tech convention in 2015. Where they displayed a screen that could fold."
    I also. like. To put periods. In the middle of. My sentences.
  7. "I am extremely exited for what Samsung has to offer for 2017."
    You're about to be exited from this internship
  8. BONUS: @squad's reaction to these atrocities