WHAT RIDING PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION IS LIKE

  1. A constant standup routine.
    Either because of conversations of strangers you probably shouldn't be listening to, but they've apparently forgotten they're in a tiny tin can and not on the couch at home. Or because of actual stand up comedians testing new material.
  2. An attack on your nose.
    The mix of smells is almost awe inspiring. Sweaty non-deodorant wearing humans, people again forgetting they're sharing a tin can with others and bring out their leftover fish to enjoy on a commute, fresh urine, old urine, coffee, drugs, alcohol...oh yes, it's just an ongoing assault.
  3. A yoga class.
    More specifically, time to contemplate life. As in: what has led to my 90 total minutes a day in some version of aforementioned tin can? Also, contort yourself to fit during rush hour.
  4. A hearing test.
    Because, if you don't hone your eavesdropping skills, your time is truly wasted.
  5. A library.
    Well, a loud one. So not a library. More like a bar during happy hour, but there's no alcohol and all you can really do is read your book.