Proving were just a real awkward stop on the train of evolution
  1. Wrong Pipe
    When you breathe in liquid or food items instead of swallowing. Hey maybe don't have the part where crap goes in the body next to the part where it's fucking fatal if crap gets stuck in it.
  2. Periods
    Every month by body thinks I MIGHT get pregnant so just in case my uterus is lined with blood and tissue and then every month this lovingly built structure is painfully and laboriously demolished. My mind knows I'm not gonna get pregnant and my mind is ALSO IN MY BODY!!! Hello send a fax.
  3. Elbows have the most nerve endings
    And also have the most chance of getting hit on door frames. No one's elbow is an erogenous zone. No one's.
  4. Teeth
    A body part that if you don't clean, it falls out. ??? Thanks to Andy Haynes my ex husband and extremely funny comedian for pointing this out.
  5. The fact that we lack earlids. I'd like to shut my ears at least as often as I shut my eyes.
    Suggested by @eamondolan
  6. Male nipples
    Suggested by @jcspesh
  7. Head hair
    It keeps growing forever, unlike body hair or animal fur which reaches a reasonable length and then stops. Head hair is right by your face where you eat and see and breath and if it's really long it gets in the way of all that stuff. How did cave people deal with head hair without scissors? Did they all have Crystal Gayle hair down to their ankles? Didn't that trip them up when they were running from saber tooth tigers? Why are we even alive as a species?
    Suggested by @evanp
  8. Sleep
    Your body wakes you up all the time and then you can get back to sleep unless you're a man that I am dating.
  9. Allergies
    Suffering for no reason 😕 why does my body freaks out when I eat guacamole? I love the taste but I can't eat it!
    Suggested by @hackguru