SERIOUS Crimpeakheads only please!
  1. Just because that guy was getting HJ’s from his psychotic sister doesn’t mean Edith had to live in that house, you know?
    When you date someone with a troubled past, sometimes you forgive them too much.
  2. Leaves falling through your roof when there's no trees around ain't fixed by wood and nails
    Don't expect to fix a problem you can't understand the cause of
  3. You're at that point where you're asking a ghost what they need from you, when you should be asking yourself if you need to be up in this haunted-ass Manor.
    It's important to take care of yourself before assisting others
  4. If love means murdering everyone who stands in your way, maybe you need to find a better love
    This one is less a metaphor and more just helpful to keep in mind in general
  5. Sometimes clay looks like blood, and sometimes it's just blood
    Occam's razor
  6. Don't drink bitter tea just to please an in-law, especially if she's super mean about it
    It's not your job to please people in the English countryside, it's England's countryside that must please you. What?
  7. A true lady never accepts jewelry from a Baronette's sister's coffer.
    Alernative engagement rings are fine as long as they aren't obviously haunted red ghost eyeballs.
  8. Always listen to your mother, and if the advice comes from in the form of a screaming skeletal wraith- write that shit down.
    Mama told you there'd be days like this, and she told you in the scariest way possible.