Reasons the Titans Made Mike Mularkey Their Head Coach

These are some possible reasons the Titans thought enough of Mike Mularkey their head coach
  1. His career 18-39 record is better than Ken Wisenhunt's 3-20 record with the Titans.
  2. Sam Hinkie has changed his name to Jon Robinson and the Titans must now trust the process.
  3. Marcus Mariotta needs to be humbled and lose for another 2-3 years in order to understand what it is to be a Titan.
  4. Making the playoffs means more work, so like, why bother?
  5. Mularkey is actually the head of the NSA and has dirt on every human who works for the Titans.
  6. Mularkey's wife makes amazing gluten free chocolate chip cookies & the organization wants the recipe prior to Mularkey's inevitable dismissal.
  7. They think Mike Mularkey is Bruce Arians.
  8. Ownership has been in a blackout drunk since week 1's win over Tampa.
  9. They didn't get the memo that the Rams & Chargers are moving to LA & they're trying to alienate Titan fans so they can move into the lucrative LA market.