GROUPS INFECTED BY THE LIKE VIRUS

Like, I've written about this before, but that was like 1,000 years ago, and things are like worse than ever.
  1. Teenage girls
    Totally acceptable, and, like, expected. Valley girls revisited.
  2. People sitting behind me on public transport talking on their phones.
    Like, shut up already! Nobody wants to hear your inane conversation. (Yes, I've got my headphones on but unfortunately not the noise cancelling ones.)
  3. People standing next to me on the standing-room only subway.
    It's almost worth, like, getting off the subway to switch cars. But what are the odds that I would like, not run into the same thing in the next car?
  4. Relatives
    I'm actually, like, pretty lucky with this one. Just spent a few days with the close ones and it was like, not too bad. And some of them you could actually like, talk to them about it.
  5. ESL teachers
    Now we're getting into, like, dangerous territory. I'm sitting in the teachers' room and unavoidably listening to the social conversation. And now the break is over and like you're going to leave the room, and, like, spend the next hour teaching people how to speak what is already a complex rules-breaking language? Oy gevalt.
  6. ESL students
    This was a new one for me, and, like, totally disheartening. But related perhaps to the previous item? A student was describing a recent trip, and, like, every 3rd word was.... Total infection- no cultural immunity! Now did I point out the problem? Like, ya..... Did she understand? Not sure - the virus like maybe had already taken hold.
  7. Like, I'm done now.