QUIRKS I'M THINKING OF ADOPTING

On 1st glance I'm kind of your standard waspy girl, so to help stand out, here are some idiosyncrasies I may assume. But only for staffing seasons. Then I'm back to pale, sarcastic-yet-optimistic.
  1. Parading around in a collection of bizarre hats
    Something I haven't attempted to pull off since Blossom was on the air.
  2. Referring to people as my "mates"
    Unless you count that ancestor on the Mayflower, I am not remotely British. Pure apple pie.
  3. Wearing excessive amounts of eyeliner
    People will think I'm "eccentric" & "mysterious."
  4. Spontaneously entering a meditative state
    During meetings. I'll be so deep.
  5. Introducing my writing partner, Mr. Toad, an actual frog
    He has a real eye for character.
  6. Pretending to have just "jetted in" from various exotic locales
    As proven by my uneven tan (burn) lines & not having "American dollars" on hand to pay for drinks at this meeting (does Coffee Bean accept the Kyat?).
  7. Leaving Execs with a party favor
    Either a single sparkler OR one of many actual party favors I have received over the years. Which one will depend on how much I enjoyed THEIR company.
  8. Constantly discussing my deep commitment to "cultivating a culture of gratitude"
    J/k I wouldn't want to be in a room 12 hours a day with any of these people 😱. Except the lady handing out sparklers, she's alright.