THINGS MY SKIN WOULD SAY IF IT COULD CONTROL MY MOUTH
- •Bitch, you're in your 30s now. These are no longer freckles, they're age spots.
- •Consuming alcohol does not count as part of your "8 glasses" a day.
- •There is no amount of concealer that will actually conceal these dark circles. Get some sleep or turn back time, but you're wasting that beige goo.
- •SPF 1000 probably would do the trick for a half hour, but you'd still need to constantly reapply after that. Find a tent and park under it.
- •Thank you for not injecting me with stuff.
- •Just smile, no one else gives a crap about the rest of it!