Things That Are a Small Child's Equivalent to, "Hold My Beer, Imm'a Try Something"

  1. "I need to poop. I'm just going to take your phone to the potty."
    No. This is why we can't have nice things.
  2. "Stay here - I'll be right back."
    This sounds pretty innocuous, but when said at 5:30 AM by a naked three year old with his hand on the front door? No one wins.
  3. "Can I lick this?"
    Yelled from his bedroom. At least he asked first? New house rule: If you have to ask if you can lick something, the answer is no - always no.