PHRASES I'M TRYING TO USE A LOT LESS

  1. Guilty pleasure
    In regards to television. If I find pleasure in a show, I refuse to feel guilty about it and that's that.
  2. Bandwagon fan
    Who knew sports fans would find a way to be hella hipster. "Yeah well I've been a fan ever since my mom and dad read me stats about this team when I was in the womb." If you love and take pride in your team, enjoy that with everyone else who does, too, no matter when or why they also love them! And if people want to jump off the bandwagon, let them. Silently judge them, but let them.
  3. Dad jokes
    I will never be a dad but this is my favorite type of joke to tell and to hear. Dad jokes for everyone!
  4. Any variation of beach-ready/bikini-ready body/swimsuit season
    I will never have what infomercials for random, solve-every-body-problem-we-tell-you-you-have-with-this-exercise-machine say is a "beach ready" body but that doesn't mean my body isn't ready for a beach. I LOVE the beach! I eat well. Generally a healthy person. I've been the same weight since the 8th grade. This ol bag of bones ain't changin. The only thing that's changed is the love/acceptance I give it now. Beach bodies shouldn't be seasonal. Aim to treat yourself well always!
  5. Grab coffee
    For no reason at all this phrase makes me cringe. Is it because it's essentially an inherent lie? "Let's grab coffee sometime!" I say as I walk away from an awkward run-in with a friend from high school I was desperately trying to hide from in the produce section. No offense to said friend. The years have just made me more socially awkward and that's not what I'd planned on so grabbing coffee is now a nightmare.