A few days back, I wrote a list of the things that I accomplished while drinking. It was a short and depressing list. If this was a battle rap, this list would be Eminem when he does that freestyle in "8 Mile" and everyone collectively loses their minds.
  1. I can look people in the eye.
    I don't have anything to hide or be ashamed of anymore, so I'll look right at your face when I talk to you. Wait, this is actually another item for the list-
  2. I can talk to anybody.
    A lot of this has to do with the fact that I've learned that what people think of me is none of my business, and also, IDGAF anymore, because again, not hiding, not ashamed, not guilty.
  3. I can fit in all of the clothes in my closet.
    When I quit drinking, I lost my extreme weight fluctuations. I no longer look and, most importantly, FEEL like 1977 Elvis. I don't have to join Weight Watchers and Nutrisystem every other month, completely baffled as to why I'm pudgy. I opened a calorie tracking app on my phone the other day, and holy shit, what a hot mess. 90% of my caloric intake was reserved for alcohol back then. Charming.
  4. I was on the front row at a U2 concert last summer.
    I hate the term bucket list, but this was my bucket list, and it happened last summer. I was on the front row at Madison Square Garden. The only reason that I was able to pull this off was because I did not have to pee. When I was a drunk, I had to pee every ten minutes at a show. This year, I was on the front row to see my favorite band two days after my 1st year of continuous sobriety.
  5. I can HAZ job.
    I started out doing social media work for a friend of mine, and somehow parlayed that into a job building websites for local businesses. Something I never could have done before I got sober. I even enjoy working, which is weird.
  6. I can run.
    I ran two 15k races in the last couple of years, which was something I always wanted to do but never could because I couldn't get up early. I'd have to drink Friday nights, so a Saturday race was never an option. Now that I've done it though, I don't feel the need to run unless chased. I'm a walker, thank you.
  7. I'm a much better mom and wife.
    Now that everything is no longer about me, and I'm not a miserable cow, it's fascinating how peaceful my family life is.
  8. I can read books.
    When I first got sober, the first few months, I must have read 100 books. It was beautiful. I had so much time! I felt like Burgess Meredith in the Twilight Zone episode, "Time Enough at Last", before his glasses broke.
  9. I can watch a show once, and follow the plot.
    Back in the day, I'd have to rewatch shows the next morning because I couldn't remember what happened. And forget trying to talk to me about what happened on a show. OMG. I never would have made it through Game of Thrones. It's hard enough sober.
  10. I can be a nice person.
    This one still surprises me. It probably shocks the hell out of everyone else, too. Whatevs.