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That one year I didn't wait until the last minute, I had a fabulous costume. Every other year has been a stressful shopping nightmare with disappointing results. Here are the 2015 contenders.
- •Janeane Garofalo in Wet Hot American SummerBraids and loose, flowery clothes.
- •Kimmy SchmidtBright, naive, unbreakable.
- •Arya StarkI can maybe raid my own closet for this. Can someone braid my hair, please?
- •A boyIt was first grade and I had short hair. Kids are great, aren't they?
- •A rabbit3rd grade with a slight overbite and disproportionately large front teeth.
- •Michelle TrachtenbergThis is the longest running. I used to hear that I looked like Harriet the Spy, then Ice Princess a decade later. Everyone from friends to strangers to my aunt and uncle.
For when you're like, "Wait, is this a good idea?...I'm just gonna have one more."
- •The cups are actually pretty small, so those first two drinks were really equivalent to one drink.
- •Someone might do a toast, and my glass is empty.
- •It's not like I have to work tomorrow.
- 1.Mendocino Farms (WeHo)If anyone else has eaten more Spicy Lemongrass Steak Bahn Mi sandwiches than I have, I would love to meet you.
- 2.Hoy-Ka (Sunset)Order the Hoy-Ka noodle soup with chicken and the egg roll appetizer. The pad ka prao and drunken noodles are also amazing, but that soup, you guys...
- 3.Fat Sal's (Highland)Do it.
This list is based on personal experience. Even #7.
- 1.Plastic bagsRetrieving that pack of crackers lost at the bottom of an Albertsons bag is going to wake someone up three rows behind you. The longer you rustle, the more intense the side-eye.
- 2.Calling it Zone 2 if I'm the absolute last passenger to boardZone 1 should be the first zone to board, and so on, numerically speaking. See Key & Peele's brilliant sketch for further details.
- 3.3am cellophane origami lessons...or whatever you were doing up there in 12D. I couldn't think of anything else that would make that much of that noise.