1. Okay, maintain this whole unmarried/no kids thing because it's really working for you.
  2. Be more willing to try new toppings on your pizza.
  3. Give brunch a second chance... He deserves it.
  4. Do not adopt 9 dogs. It might sound like a good idea right now, but you're full of whiskey. Let's aim for 5. 5 sounds reasonable.
  5. Do not buy a roomba. Vacuuming the house is basically your daily exercise.
  6. Eating dinner at 4pm doesn't mean you're old, it leaves you with plenty of time for a second dinner.
  7. If the person at the Taco Bell drive-thru knows your order by heart, you have a problem. Seek help… Try a different Taco Bell location.