Horrible/Stupid Things I've Heard Kids Say At School

I've worked as the manager of an after school program for 4 years, and I am currently a substitute teacher. The things I hear come out of kid's mouths scare the crap out of me sometimes.
  1. "Jason's trying to be gay with me!"
    1st Grader.
  2. "Do it have color?"
    2nd Grader while playing 20 Questions.
  3. "When Donald Trump becomes President he's gonna send your family back to Mexico and I won't have to see you anymore."
    3rd Grader to a classmate.
  4. "I can't share my water bottle with you 'cause I have herpes."
    1st Grader to a classmate.
  5. "Aren't we supposed to get under our desks?"
    A 6th Grader in reference to an upcoming fire drill...FIRE DRILL!
  6. "Unicorns are extinct, stupid!"
    A 1st Grader yelling at a classmate.
  7. "There's a fly on me."
    A 1st Grader after I asked the class what time it was. He even raised his hand. 😞 But even that didn't prepare me for what was to follow...
  8. "14 o'clock?"
    2nd Grader in response to the "What time is it?" question after the fly flew away.
  9. "IT'S 4:30! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! THE LITTLE HAND IS ON THE FOUR AND THE BIG HAND IS ON THE SIX! IT'S 4:30, NOT 14 O'CLOCK! AND NO ONE CARES ABOUT A STUPID FLY!"
    2nd Grader who had enough of the ridiculousness these after school kids had to offer. He became one of my favorites after this.
  10. "Do we have to write in complete sentences?"
    6th Grader after being assigned an essay. 😒 I fear for the future, so much.
  11. "Fuck."
    Every grade at a little school in Tracy, CA.