Things That Always Blow My Mind on a Plane ... No Matter How Often I Travel

  1. That a bathroom is called a lavatory ...
  2. That in the event of an emergency, a random group of people who were too embarrassed to tell a flight attendant they actually don't want to be called into action simply because they were seated in an emergency row would be helping me get out of a plane, through a window, onto a raft. I don't even chat with people in UberPool ...
  3. That they still announce that they will check your carry on bag at the door if there's no overhead room "free of charge" like it's some luxury titanium card concierge service ...
  4. That there are instructions for the seatbelt but no instructions how to share the armrests ...
  5. That you get excited for snack or meal service no matter the time, what you just ate in the airport or what you resolved on New Year's ...
  6. That they don't have a video library as deep as Netflix ...
  7. That there isn't a universal currency and language of loyalty points including which gem and precious metal means what where and to whom ... I was somewhere recently and heard Emerald passengers over the loudspeaker and immediately got excited/anxious "what's that?!"