HOW THEY GOT KANYE WEST TO COME TO THE VMAS, PROBABLY

  1. Kanye, we'd like to invite you and Kim to the VMAs
    Fuck you
  2. We'll sit you in the front row
    Continue to fuck off
  3. We'll give you the biggest award of the night
    Like I give a fuck about a VMA. Kanye West does not give a fuck about a VMA
  4. We'll give you a mic on live TV, 10 minutes of uninterrupted airtime, and right before you go on stage, we'll have Kim whisper in your ear that you are the voice of a generation.
    I'm listening.